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Life Instructions for Monday, 3/11/02
Wake up at 9. Shower. Shave. Eat a granola bar. Drive to work. Dispense coffee. Pour milk. Drink coffee at desk. Sit at desk for an hour. Read blogs, look at news, whatever. When awake, wander around and talk to people. Go to testbed. Try to figure out why there are metal shavings all around it. Realize main gear has been sawed off. Motor replaced with stepper motor. Nice, but now it doesn't work. Go back to desk. Plug in Jornada. Does not update. Not connected. Re-install Microsoft ActiveSync. Success! Look at clock. Noon. Time for lunch. Think of eating at taco shop. Think about Josh's Taco Stupid idea. Grin and laugh foolishly. Look at bank account. Realize not enough funds to start franchise. Shrug. Whatever. Thought occurs that 'whatever' is today's operative word. Whatever.
Return from lunch. Think about downloading porn. Do not download porn to prevent from getting fired. Work on testbed some more. Do some Excel and Powerpoint. Talk some more. Make some calls; send out email. Make some tea. Go home. Put on blues LP. Make dinner. Do the New York Times crossword (omit this step if Thursday or Friday). Dial in. Blog. Email. Make tea (or get coffee with friends). Read Atlantic, New Yorker, Harpers (if anything appears interesting). Go for a walk. Read at Borders. Walk home. Have a snack. Brush teeth. Read book. Go to bed.
Rinse thoroughly with ironic introspection and repeat with modifications ad nauseum until retirement, death, moment of clarity, or financial windfall. Not to be used by persons with authentic life force. If feeling of malaise persists, think of silly pop cultural things, like Barney being slow roasted on a rotating barbeque spit or the Pilsbury doughboy baking into a crispy cookie. Mmmm. Cookies.
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